A Gift From My Dad

IN MY DREAMS

When I woke I was crying and I lay awake trying  

To remember if I’d seen him again  

My dreams are so fleeting but the way my heart is beating     

I am sure that in my arms I held Ben  

I did see him.  I did hold him. 

In my dreams I can kiss him, when awake how I miss him  

And I hunger so I can feel that touch  

Just saying his sweet name ignites in my heart such a flame   

It consumes me that I love him so much  

I did see him.  I did hold him. 

Dreams, like a meeting place, are memories that I embrace

From moments that were once reality

I linger there with a desire that time will not expire

Because waking makes parting misery.   

I did see him.  I did hold him.

He is waiting in my dreams

Kenneth Hutchins

01-29-12

CALEB MOODY

Best friends on earth...and now in Heaven. 

Please take good care of Caleb, Ben.

STAY TUNED...

Ever since your departure from this earth, I have been trying really hard to "Let the Spirit Guide" in my life.  It was my new years resolution for 2011.  So many blessings have come because of this choice that I have made.  Brady is a perfect example of that choice.  He has blessed our family in ways that I never would have imagined.  And now again our lives are about to change...and only because I have chosen to follow the promptings of the Spirit.  We are excited and ready.  I know that this is right for our family Ben, and I know that you are close by...cheering us on.

THE BOYS

We aren't the ONLY ones...

thinking about you during this difficult season of missing you.

Thank you dear Lisa King.

It made my heart smile.

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR...

Today is December 1st.  I've thought about you lots today.  I'm having a harder time again, now that Christmas is nearing.  Sunday is our annual Make-A-Wish party and it's so painful not having you with us.  I love you Benny!  I miss your cute, skinny legs in these striped pajamas, and your LONG eyelashes.

xo

NOVEMBER 29, 2011

(this picture was taken May 29, 2010)

Today marks 18 months since you left this earth.

My heart still aches for you Ben.

BRADY...MEET BEN.

Okay, so I know they've already met (in heaven) ...but he's never been to his grave.  So on our trip home from Utah we stopped briefly.  I didn't stay long because it was cold and I was tired.  I just wanted Brady to meet Ben...again.

ANOTHER DREAM...

About a month ago I had a really great dream about you Ben.  I was in some strange (and really big fancy house) with a lot of other mom's and their babies.  (Brady and the kids were with me)  I remember at one point I was panicky because all of a sudden you weren't with me, so I asked the kids where you were and they didn't know.  I ran around this unfamiliar house looking for you because I knew that you should not be alone in case you needed suctioning or other kinds of help.  I entered this room full of car seats and there you were, sitting in your car seat waiting for me. And I remember your suction machine was turned on and running next to you because I immediately worried about the battery draining - so I turned it off.  I scooped you right up, just like I used to do, and told you how much I missed you!  That's when you looked right into my eyes with the cutest smile EVER and said, "I ate lettuce".  I remember being completely shocked that you had just spoken to me.  And at the same time I was laughing and in my cutesy voice said to you, "BEN!  Who fed you lettuce?"  You never answered but I wasn't too concerned because my  next thought was to hurry and find the other kids so that I could tell them what happened.  I finally found them and told them, "You've GOT to hear this, Ben talked."  At which point I said, "Come on Ben...show them how you can talk!"  That's when he turned and looked right into Kaleb's eyes and said, "I love you Bubby!" and then turned to the rest of us and said, "I ate lettuce!"  And we all laughed.  (and then I woke up) 

This dream came at a time when I think Kaleb really needed it.  He's had a hard couple of months.  I feel like it was Ben's way of communicating through me, the love that he has for his brother.  I shared this with Kaleb and by the end we were both teary.  As for the lettuce part?  It still makes me laugh.  I have no idea what the meaning of THAT was, but this I do know...that Ben's love for his brother is REAL and so powerful.

KING NOAH

It's amazing how you can fall in love with a little boy that you've never met...that's how I feel about Noah.  Ben brought me into the "King's world" soon after he passed away.  Lisa and I became instant friends.  We even found we had SO much in common.  It's a good thing we live on different sides of the world because I fear we would be trouble together. :)  Noah became sick a week ago.  His little body finally gave out and he returned home to his Heavenly Father.  My heart has been so heavy this morning knowing that my dear friend is feeling the same pain that I felt over a year ago.  It brings my heart some comfort knowing that Ben was there to welcome him home.  We love you Lisa.  We love your amazing family.  We pray for Heavenly Father's loving arms to surround you during this most difficult time.