Last night I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about you. And when I think about you, I start crying. And when I start crying I can't breathe. And when I can't breathe, I have to get up. And because I have to get up, I can't sleep. It's a vicious circle...one that I didn't cycle out of until 2am. This morning my head is pounding and my eyes are puffy. It's not a pretty sight. I think I'll hide from the world today.
I received some more funeral pictures from a friend this weekend. I finally got a chance to look at them last night. These two pictures were hard to see. I look at them and think, "Is that REALLY me? Did I REALLY lose my child?" Looking at the pictures, it just seems so surreal. The first one we were walking behind his casket after the funeral. The second we were walking to his burial service.
I miss you Benny!