Thursday, June 9, 2011

B.E.N.J.A.M.I.N (by Stevie)

Best brother in the whole wide world
Extra special
N
ever ever naughty
J
ust as cute as can be
A
ll I ever could ask for and more
M
ine and always will be
I
love him to the ends of the earth and back for eternity
N
othing can take him away from me
(found this on my computer today...it made my heart smile)

Monday, June 6, 2011

VISITING...

I took an impromptu visit down south this past weekend to see my parents and Ben.  It was a beautiful day.  Remember the yellow lilies my parents had planted the weekend before?  (see previous post)  The blossoms were GONE as a result of some serious hurricane like weather.  No worries, my mom's always got flowers up her sleeve.  We brought more down to the grave to spruce it up a bit.  


I love that mother of mine!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

FLOWERS FOR BEN, FLOWERS FOR ME!

My parents and many friends were so good to visit Ben's grave this weekend while we were up in Vermont.  They added some nice greenery and yellow lilies to his marker.  It's looking really beautiful.

And I came home to THESE on Tuesday.  The colors are so cheery!  
Thank you April and Emily.  

xoxo

Monday, May 30, 2011

IN MEMORY OF...

We feel so blessed.  So many notes, cards, emails, facebook messages, gifts in the mail from people who love and care about us.  We continue to marvel at the impact Ben has had on people's lives....ALL.OVER.THE.WORLD!  Thank you for making this first anniversary special.  For helping us to make it through one more day.  We couldn't do it without you!!!
(This "B" charm came all the way from Australia and this picture frame and picture from another dear friend.)
One year closer to being with you again...  

Sunday, May 15, 2011

WITH LOVE FROM GRAMPY

Have you ever looked at something amazing, beautiful or inspiring and had whatever it was that you were looking at or hearing just come alive inside of you?  Have you ever felt the absence of love inside of you and then compared it to a time when you felt the pure love of another for you and realized that the feelings that come at times like those are like sacred moments that are hard to describe for someone else unless they too have had the same experience?  Have you ever held something or someone so precious to you that letting go seemed like a part of you was now missing?  Have you ever held someone so pure and precious and totally incapable of caring for themselves that you realized for a tiny moment you were what preserved the gift of life for them - - like a new born infant?  Imagine if you will being able to hold and care for a newborn infant that never grew old and never stopped needing the constant love and nurturing that made it possible to sustain that life.  In a way, that was what it was like to know Ben.  Holding him, touching him, caressing him, kissing him and just being able to look at him seemed to confirm that life itself was so uniquely precious that you were holding the gift of life itself in your arms.  He was somewhat deformed and yet he seemed perfect in every respect.  He was unable to speak and yet he conveyed a sense of being and purpose that could not be expressed in words.  He could not see and yet it was as if holding him allowed you to see through his eyes and look at things we can't see with our mortal eyes - things like love and
the purpose of life and the eternal nature of the soul.  He could not touch or sense touching, yet the act of holding him or touching him was like being given a momentary gift of being able to feel in a very physical way his spirit and to know that he was aware of being loved and wanted. 
So Ben was life-changing - and life confirming - not by knowledge you come by in a book or from a teacher, but from the very source of life itself, from God the Eternal Father.  How fortunate we all were to know Ben, even if it was just for a moment in time.  Thank-you Heavenly Father.   

Monday, May 9, 2011

MOTHER'S DAY

 I celebrate my kids on earth...
 AND in heaven.
not just on Mother's day...but every day.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

I LOVE YOU

I had a dream about you last night...only I can't remember all the details.  But knowing you were in my dreams makes me feel better.  Your year date is coming up fast.  I'm starting to get anxious about it.  I still can't believe this is my life...that you are gone.  Every minute of every day my heart and my soul aches for you.  I love you to the moon and back!

Friday, April 22, 2011

HE IS LEGEND...

I was over at Dartmouth today with Kaleb.  We were in their brand new building for out patient surgery.  (across the street from the hospital)  Even though it was a brand new building, one that we had never stepped foot in before today...there were a lot of the same friends that moved into this new unit.  It was good to see them.  We were welcomed so lovingly.  The nurse and tech that took care of Kaleb were outstanding, but I already knew that because they had taken care of Ben many times before in that same setting.  The anesthesiologist was a new face for me.  Our nurse told her, "You have a gift this morning."  She looked at our nurse kind of puzzled.  What she meant (and clarified) was that WE were that gift.  She told the anesthesiologist, "What a gift it is to be able to take care of this amazing family."   She went on to talk about Ben and how he is legend around campus.  I was touched.  I love being able to entrust my children to people who LOVE us and CARE for us.  And how much easier it makes going back to the place that holds so many tender memories for me.  After the surgery, she wheeled Kaleb out to my car, gave me a BIG hug and told me that she hopes she doesn't have to see us there anytime soon, but if we need to be there...she would be so THRILLED to have us.  Thank you Ben, for being the legend that you are!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Monday, April 4, 2011

HAPPY 9TH BIRTHDAY BENNY!

Wish you were here to celebrate with us...