FOUR months. As time passes, it seems as if the "surreal" feeling is wearing off and the "reality" is setting in. Therefore it gets harder with each passing month. I miss him more and more each day. I don't want you to think that I am a walking puddle. I'm not. I cry. Everyday. But it's a little here and a little there. Thankfully my kids keep me busy and active. That leaves little time to sit and feel sorry for myself. Besides, it's too painful. I know Ben is happy with how we are continuing on. We all are pretty adjusted. I don't like our new adjustments, it still feels so unnatural without him. Today I ran around doing errands and visiting people. How easy it was to run from place to place, it didn't use to be like that. It may be easy, but I don't like it. I loved having a constant companion that required much effort. It was my life...and that's the way that I liked it.