Tuesday, September 28, 2010

ANOTHER MONTH

FOUR months.  As time passes, it seems as if the "surreal" feeling is wearing off and the "reality" is setting in.  Therefore it gets harder with each passing month.  I miss him more and more each day.  I don't want you to think that I am a walking puddle.  I'm not.  I cry.  Everyday.  But it's a little here and a little there.  Thankfully my kids keep me busy and active.  That leaves little time to sit and feel sorry for myself.  Besides, it's too painful.  I know Ben is happy with how we are continuing on.  We all are pretty adjusted.  I don't like our new adjustments, it still feels so unnatural without him.  Today I ran around doing errands and visiting people. How easy it was to run from place to place, it didn't use to be like that.  It may be easy, but I don't like it.  I loved having a constant companion that required much effort.  It was my life...and that's the way that I liked it.  

7 comments:

Erin said...

Loved your comment on my blog today--like we are totally old school, you and me. And Ben and Boof. Those little snugglers.

The Kings said...

When I'm tired and stressed from lugging Noah around and having to get him in and out of the van etc I always think about how one day I will miss it and am grateful that I get to lug him around.
Thank you for reminding me of how grateful I should be. Hugs to you. xxx

Alison said...

Thinking of you always, and thankful for your reminders of how grateful we should be for time with loved ones. :)

Jenny said...

He misses you too--you have the harder end.
XO

The VW's said...

I'm missing your sweet boy, right along with you! I wish that you still had your handsome sidekick and I wish that I could change this for you. Thinking of you and praying! HUGS!!!

LL said...

Four months of heartache. I just wish it got easier...I wish it didn't have to hurt so much all the time. I'm thinking of you, and love you my friend!

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Oh Becky ... ((hugs)). I have to tell you, there have been times where I am so frustrated with lugging Emily and her wheelchair and her equipment and a diaper bag and I just want to screaaaaam. Then I realize that I am SO lucky to be able to lug her and all her stuff. ((hugs)) to you sweet friend.

On a slightly funny note, my word verification is "totingin". I think since you can't tote Ben, someone is recommending that you start toting gin. ;)