September 13, 2010
Have you ever experienced the loss of a loved one? Do you remember all the emotions that hit you all at once on that terrible day? You feel disoriented and small, you feel guilty because you wished you were a better family member or a better friend. I remember thinking "why me?" And "why is this happening to me?" The shock that hits you is like being bulldozed by a train and the pain that you feel is like a whole piece of your heart and soul has been ripped from you body. So many emotions could destroy a person and you would rather die then go through the sadness and pain. I felt all of these the day that my little brother Benjamin slipped from our fingers.
When I got home from school my mother surprised us with a girls weekend over at our Aunt Jenny’s house. My sister and I packed and loaded up my brother Ben in his wheelchair and buckled him in to the car. We drove the two hours in the humid summer weather. I had to sit in the back seat so I could suction my brother I was not very happy about this, because my mother had to wake me from my nap and tell me to suction him. I was annoyed at her and wished that she would leave me alone. When we arrived at my cousin’s house we were welcomed with lots of hugs and exchanging of news. We settled in and hopped back in the car with me Cousin Sarah and we drove ten minutes to Chilies. We had a wonderful time at dinner. My favorite part of the evening was still yet to come, bed! We stayed up very late and just before we slipped off to bed, I went to give Ben a kiss and an ‘I love you’ before we ran up the stairs and fell straight into the covers. And little did I know that my perfect weekend would not be so perfect.
It was May 29th 2010; it was really early around 4:30 in the morning. I was asleep in my cousin’s bedroom in Lunenburg