Saturday, December 18, 2010

BENNY'S GRAVE

Today I was shopping in Walmart when a friend of mine sent me this picture.  The tears started to flow.  WHY am I always in that store during tender moments?  At least this time I wasn't anywhere near the Men's underwear aisle.  It makes my heart warm to know that Ben is being watched over when I'm not there.  Even though I've seen his grave a number of times, it still takes my breath away.  What's hard is seeing the frosty grass.  I know I've mentioned it before, but it's so hard to know his little body is so cold, especially this time of year.  I know his spirit isn't there and I know he's not really cold, but it's still painful.  We've never really gone anywhere on Christmas day in the past, but this year we'll be leaving first thing in the morning to head down his way.  It will probably be the hardest visit yet... 

8 comments:

The Kings said...

Oh Becky. I was wondering what you would be doing for Christmas day. Soooo hard. Thinking of you. xxxx

LL said...

Love you my friend....xo

TMI Tara said...

I'm glad people are there to watch over his burial site.

I went to a friend's baby's funeral last December and I remember how hard it was as a mother -- not that baby's mother, but just as a mother in general -- to allow them to put her body in the cold ground. It's against our instincts. I'm so sorry you have to think of Ben that way, even though we both know he's not really there, it's still unimaginably difficult, I'm sure. Thinking of you always and praying for a peaceful Christmas.

I was thinking of you today when I heard a version of Joy to the World sung by little children. I imagined little Ben in the heavenly choir when the savior was born, knowing that His birth was a true reason to have joy -- to know that He would save us from our imperfect bodies. It was a very special moment and I wanted to share it with you. I fully believe Ben is celebrating the commemoration of our Savior's birth and knowing that because of that, He will be perfect and reunited with his family forever. Sweet Ben.

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel Becky.
Love to you and your family at Christmas.
Love Lorraine.
xx

Erin said...

I totally understand. As you said, we know they aren't really there, but it's a hard thought. I prefer to think of her body in a cozy little underground nest, surrounded by the blankets and her stuffed monkey, just resting away until it's time to wake up...weird? Well it helps me. :)

Jo Jo said...

Sigh. Tender thoughts. You're such a wonderful mother. Who was the visitor?

April said...

Oh Becky,
I am just so sorry that it is so hard-- I pray that you'll feel love and peace as you visit sweet Ben for Christmas this year.... I love you so very much.

Jenny said...

XOXO