Kayla's Experience in her words...

Kayla Orton

Mrs. Hutchinson

English 9

September 13, 2010

Unforgettable

               Have you ever experienced the loss of a loved one?  Do you remember all the emotions that hit you all at once on that terrible day?  You feel disoriented and small, you feel guilty because you wished you were a better family member or a better friend.  I remember thinking "why me?" And "why is this happening to me?"  The shock that hits you is like being bulldozed by a train and the pain that you feel is like a whole piece of your heart and soul has been ripped from you body.  So many emotions could destroy a person and you would rather die then go through the sadness and pain.  I felt all of these the day that my little brother Benjamin slipped from our fingers.

             When I got home from school my mother surprised us with a girls weekend over at our Aunt Jenny’s house.  My sister and I packed and loaded up my brother Ben in his wheelchair and buckled him in to the car.  We drove the two hours in the humid summer weather.  I had to sit in the back seat so I could suction my brother I was not very happy about this, because my mother had to wake me from my nap and tell me to suction him.  I was annoyed at her and wished that she would leave me alone.  When we arrived at my cousin’s house we were welcomed with lots of hugs and exchanging of news.  We settled in and hopped back in the car with me Cousin Sarah and we drove ten minutes to Chilies.  We had a wonderful time at dinner.  My favorite part of the evening was still yet to come, bed!  We stayed up very late and just before we slipped off to bed, I went to give Ben a kiss and an ‘I love you’ before we ran up the stairs and fell straight into the covers.  And little did I know that my perfect weekend would not be so perfect.

            It was May 29^th 2010; it was really early around 4:30 in the morning.  I was asleep in my cousin’s bedroom in Lunenburg Massachusetts, when my Aunt Jenny woke me from my peaceful slumber.  She pulled me up and wrapped both arms around my shoulders.  “Kayla I wanted to tell you that Ben passed away in his sleep last night and your mother wants you with her.”  These were the exact words she spoke to me.  These were the words that brought down the crushing darkness that swaddled me in a black blanket.  No sound emanated form me as I walked down the stairs towards the screaming and the sobbing from my mother.  I entered the room to find my mom clutching the lifeless form of my baby brother and rocking back and forth on the bed.  I walked towards her as she gazed at me with her bloodshot eyes.  I held out my arms and she put Ben into them.  I buried my face in his chest and I could smell death and it scared me.  My mother wailed and said “I’m so sorry Kayla; I don’t know what to do.”  Those words made me sad because I knew it was not my mothers fault that Ben had gone she had no control over what happened.  I looked up from Bens face and told my mother that she had no control, it was Ben’s turn to go.  I also told her that she didn’t have to do anything because there was nothing she could have done, that these things just happen.  My Aunt roused my younger sister and brought her down to my mother and myself.  My father and younger brother had not yet heard of Bens passing and we were working on getting the news to him.  My Grandparents arrived and that’s when we started to call everyone in the family.  Doing that was probably the hardest thing that my mother had to do was call and tell everyone that Ben had died.  When my father had finally arrived everybody left the room and let us have some time with Ben.  That few minutes were probably the hardest in my life having to say goodbye when you weren’t ready to.  But the day will come when he can hold me in his arms and tell me that he loves me and that he lived longer because he felt the love that I had for him.  I will wait for that day to come and until then I will be hoping that Ben is watching out for me.