The other night I was finishing up the packing for our camping trip (that I am currently on). It was late and I was all by myself. Those are the times that are the hardest for me. I was making cinnamon rolls for the campout and was crying because I miss Benjamin so much. I stared at these pictures in my kitchen as I rolled out my dough. (hope my family doesn't mind teary cinnamon rolls) The pain is just so hard to bear sometimes that I can't even stand it. I remember a dear friend of mine who lost her daughter a year ago saying that she misses the weight of her daughter in her lap. How I understand what she means. That was my favorite place for Ben. Even when he was almost as tall as me, I loved nothing more then to snuggle him on my lap. His legs would dangle to the floor and I would wrap his body into mine. I loved the way his head fit on my chest. And I have no doubt that it was HIS favorite place to be as well. How I miss you Benny!
7 comments:
Oh Becky, I can't even imagine what it must be like for you. I used to love having cuddles with Noah but he's way too big now to just pick up and have a cuddle with. Instead I now have to just lay his head or legs on my lap while I give his feet or head a rub.
Lots of hugs for you. You need to get over here so you can give Noah a cuddle (or feet or head rub! :)
Lots of hugs Becky. Junior is nearing 12 and nearly as big as I am but sitting with him for a snuggle is still the best.
Keeping you in our prayers and can't wait to see you and give you an in person hug.
I'll bet those cinnamon rolls will be exceptionally good! Love the pictures on your kitchen wall--the one with the goggles I remember as being taken at the NASCAR races last year. My heart goes out to you, sweet niece. Just put your arms around yourself and that's a hug from me until I can do it in person. Love you bunches.
crying.
wish I could pull up a chair next to you on those hard nights...
I'm sorry it is so hard right now. I wish I could be there to help with the cinnamon rolls and share your tears.
Great blog thanks for posting this.
I appreciate the time to write this post
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