The other night I was finishing up the packing for our camping trip (that I am currently on). It was late and I was all by myself. Those are the times that are the hardest for me. I was making cinnamon rolls for the campout and was crying because I miss Benjamin so much. I stared at these pictures in my kitchen as I rolled out my dough. (hope my family doesn't mind teary cinnamon rolls) The pain is just so hard to bear sometimes that I can't even stand it. I remember a dear friend of mine who lost her daughter a year ago saying that she misses the weight of her daughter in her lap. How I understand what she means. That was my favorite place for Ben. Even when he was almost as tall as me, I loved nothing more then to snuggle him on my lap. His legs would dangle to the floor and I would wrap his body into mine. I loved the way his head fit on my chest. And I have no doubt that it was HIS favorite place to be as well. How I miss you Benny!