Thursday, August 5, 2010

HARD THINGS

Today was one of those days where it required doing something hard.  Not my favorite day.  Poor Ben has no grave marker.  It's something we've put off partly due to the finality of it all and partly due to finances.  Boy do those things cost big bucks.  I was thinking an average grave marker costs around $150.  WRONG.  Don't ask me why I assumed, just did.  We're looking at more like $600.  That's just to put a piece of granite in the ground.  Then eventually comes the upright stone.  I can't even go there yet.  We spent about an hour trying to decide what we want on his marker.  I'm glad it's the more simple decision.  It will get harder when we buy the upright stone.  He'll have his name, birth year, death year and a cute little elephant on the marker.  I was trying to decide what we should put on it to represent a part of him and decided he needed to have a little elephant.  I can't help but think of Ben when I see them.  
They have symbolic meaning as well.  Elephants are symbolic of: strength, honor, and patience.
 Ben exemplified all of these attributes perfectly.
The company we are using will have a few drafts in the next couple of days so I'll post it when it's available and look forward to your input on which one you like best.  
I am excited to know that he'll finally have a marker.  It will make visiting him feel a little more complete seeing his name on his spot.  We love you Ben.

18 comments:

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

I can't even imagine the emotions of putting together the headstone. (((hugs))) I wish I could hug you in person.

And so you know, I think of Ben every time I see stuffed elephants!

The Kings said...

oh so hard. Thinking of you all.

LL said...

I also think of Ben now everytime I see a little elephant. I love the strength, honor, and patience part of it.
Perfect for Ben!

Mom said...

I vote for the one which looks most like the stuffed elephant.

shirlgirl said...

Hard times for you, but it will be worth it when you have Ben's grave marked. He will guide you all the way, sweet niece. Lots of love and hugs to you. Aunt Shirley

Jenny said...

Sweet! I love that you're putting an elephant on his stone.
He's still my hero.
xo

Junior said...

an elephant is perfect. I think of Ben every time we see one now. hugs

TMI Tara said...

Oh Becky, that has to be so hard. I think an elephant is the right decision, though. Ben has definitely been an example of strength, honor and patience for me and he always will be. Love you.

The VW's said...

I can only imagine how emotional doing this would be! I love that you are putting an elephant on it! And, I love learning about the meaning of the word elephat....Ben truly fits those descriptions! Love, Hugs and Prayers!!!

Nettie's Blog said...

the symbol of the elephant has been part of your life with Ben as it was part of his with his beautiful huggy elephant you have to remind you of him... very fitting it should be on his marker ..honor, patience and strength ..so fitting... i am with the elephant symbol too.

Sim-Dim said...

I can just imagine Ben helping you decide what is right and when you decide, it will all fit so perfectly. xx

April said...

Oh the elephant is perfect. Strength, patience, honor--- those words describe you both. My heart is with you as you do hard things.... xoxo

asplashofsunshine said...

Such a sweet idea! It is great to wake up this morning to a pic of Ben. So so sorry that you had to have such a difficult thing to accomplish. I can't imagine.

Amy said...

:(

Go with your heart. Ben will speak to you.

Emily B. said...

I'm sad that was waiting for you when you got home.

I think a little elephant will be perfect for Benny!

偉曹琬 said...

Poverty is stranger to industry.........................................

Anonymous said...

Becky,
It is hard to get the grave marker done.
When Daniel died, I hated to go to his grave and there wasn't anything on his grave.
It is really funny, but after his name was put up, with his name on it, and his brother's and sister's names on there as well (to say, they were part of his family) it seemed to be a real comfort to me.
I hope in some small way, it is the same for you.
Love Lorraine.
xxx

Jo Jo said...

I loved my elephant collection when I was Ben's age. I passed them onto Zach. Love the elephant. Love Ben. Love you.