I hate that it's getting colder. Even though I know he's not really in the ground, it's hard to know his body is and that I can't do anything to keep him warm. While I was visiting with Ben, I took a knife from the car and dug up the rocks that made the E and the N so that they weren't 'mashed' into the dirt anymore from the big truck that ran them over. It looks much better seeing them on top of the dirt instead of mashed into the dirt. I always try to find something to do while I am there because other wise I just sit and cry the whole time.
Sitting with Ben gives me time to reflect. And I find it so interesting that at this point in my life, who would have thought my path would have led to this? Me, sitting at my son's grave on a cold November evening at the age of 37? It's not anything I ever imagined for myself as I was growing up that's for sure. But you know what? If 8 years was all I got with Ben here on this earth, I'd take it over and over again. I feel like the luckiest mom in the world to be HIS mother.
I love you Ben, and I miss you just as much.
I love you Ben, and I miss you just as much.
xoxo
10 comments:
so sweet!
Who would have ever imagined these lives ... and like you said, we would take them again and again and again. I'm glad you got his rocks fixed up. ((hugs))
Oh I know you would never have imagined it- yet would never trade it. We love you- in heaven and on earth.
Hugs, you are so right, not at all what we imagined for life but I would take it again and again.
love you
Hello Becky - you don't know me but i too have lost a son with similar issues to your beautiful Ben. His name was James and today is his 3rd anniversary. Sending u many hugs as i know how it hurts x p.s. Ben was truly amazing O:-)
oh Becky - that must be so hard. Thinking of you all the time. Love and hugs to you. xxx
We visited Charlotte today and I'm sad it's getting colder too. But they aren't really there, and I'm sure they will help us keep warm this winter. Love you.
Sending out Love, Big Hugs and Lots of Prayers!!!
You have lots of cuddling memories of sweet Ben to keep you warm all year long.
I'm with you. I hate thinking about the cold ground, but I know that they have no concept of cold where they are now <3
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