Wednesday, October 7, 2009

PICU day 14 and 15

Views from both windows in Ben's (large and spacious) room.
We've passed the two week mark. UGH. I am tired...no, more like exhausted. The first week in the hospital, your body runs on adrenaline. It's a wierd kind of energy. SOoooo not normal. Your mind and body sort of switches over to auto-pilot, pushing aside the emotional. You tell yourself, "I've done this (many times) before, I know how this works." After the first week comes and goes, you let down your guard, you start realizing that you might be here for awhile. It becomes tiring...in all sorts of ways. It is Phsyically, emotionally, and mentally draining. Back and forth, back and forth. More sitting, more waiting, more time in the PICU. It's a mind game. Now we are into week three. The dark circles under my eyes are manifesting themselves. I've been able to keep them at bay...until now. I'm anxious. Anxious to have my child be healthy again. Anxious to go home, to have my family be ALL together again. Just a few more days I keep telling myself...just a few more days.
*****
He's almost done with his Pressure Support.
Getting him off his Peep is next.
Stay tuned...

10 comments:

LL said...

at least the view from his window is pretty!
two weeks is a LONG time! LONG.
Sounds like you're almost there. High 5 for BEN! SOnds like he's doing well.

Smilin' sunshine said...

Hope you get to go home soon!

The VW's said...

Being in the hospital with your child IS SO VERY TIRING!!! I don't know how you do it, as often as you do! I age so much every time Gavin is in the hospital.

I suppose, you don't have a choice and you love your child, so that's how you do it!

I'll be praying for you, Ben and your family! Hang in there! You CAN do this!

BTW, I read your brother's blog entry. He sounds like a very smart guy! I agree with his writing! Thanks for sharing it with me!

Here is something that I will share with you: (It's something I recently read on another person's blog and it really hit home to me and made me really think about my role as a mother.)

"The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own home." Harold B. Lee

Quite powerful and true, don't you think?! So, keep up your great job Momma!!! HUGS!

Mostly Stacie's Space said...

Lots of *squeezes* from Idaho. I wish I could just wrap you in my arms and hold you for awhile. Love you, hang in there.

April said...

Thinking of you- praying for you- and loving you in Utah!!

Erin said...

More Utah love here, remembering those week one, week two, and week three feelings. Arg! Get that Ben back home!

Emily B. said...

Oh friend, I FEEL where you are coming from. Especially the part about being on a high of adrenaline, not feeling anything, and then coming down and just feeling beat up in EVERY way. I'm so sorry this has been such a long stay for Benny-and you. Wish I was closer so I could actually feel of use to you. I love you guys.

Trina and Jophie said...

I can feel the exhaustion coming from your body. I remember it well.

And you are so right. It is NOT normal. We are not normal but happy to live in the abnormal most days.

Hold tight girlie...

I always tell me that. Not sure how much I listen to me though :)

Did they ever determine what your little bug collector has in his little bug catchers pot? Just curious.

Still on bended knee....

Praying specifically for Bens healing and your strength and endurance......

Hang in there...

Hugs,
Trina and Jophie

Jo Jo said...

Take a picture of that view the day you leave. Would love to see how much it's changed. Hang in there. Sorry this is your life now.

Ambrose said...

Thank you for writing this!
Stay strong! (both of you)
Love