Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Ben's Lungs

Couple of issues today.
This is an x-ray (above) from about 2 years ago. If you look at Ben's lungs, you can see that they are both pretty clear. This is what they look like when he is healthy. There was a reason for Dr. Filiano bringing this old x-ray in for me to see besides the clarity of his lungs.
If you look at THIS x-ray, taken yesterday, you can see Ben's left lung (which technically is the right side of the picture) is completely white. That means there is NO air movement happening on that side due to collapse. I already knew this, there was no surprise. What he really wanted to show me was the curvature of Ben's spine. (check out the two x-rays and look at both spines.) In two years it has gotten progressively worse. He's leaning to the left significantly. What he wanted me to know is this will continue to worsen over time to the point where his left lung will be severely compromised. The only way to fix it would be spine surgery (which he wasn't suggesting, just informing me) or possibly a brace. It's basically a "no-win" situation. The surgery is NOT a good surgery to begin with, but to put someone like Ben through it would not be good. It's a MAJOR procedure. I'm aware of these situations, but they are hard to swallow when you are FORCED to see them because it's reality. I sat there with Dr. Filiano, teary, as I told him I'm just not ready. You never will be was his reply. How true that is.

8 comments:

Joy said...

Becky, I am so sorry! I don't think we are ever truly ready for anything...That is where faith and love come in. We love you both, we are glad that you are back in you second home, but miss you both bunches. It was great having you out here and spending time with you both. The kids say goodbye and send their love to their Benny Boy.

troutdalites said...

Becky, so glad you are closer to home. What a lucky little boy Ben is to have you and your fam FOREVER. I bet he'll be eternally chatty for all the things he wanted to tell you since birth : ) Love from Oregon!

Junior said...

That is such a tough situation. Junior has the curve and has been in a brace for a couple years now.
Lots of prayers and big hugs

shirlgirl said...

The Lord will guide you in your decision whatever that may be. I know I wouldn't want to be in your shoes making any type of a decision right now. You just got home and it has been an emotional up and down situation. Just know that He is always by your side.

April said...

Oh, my heart is heavy while you ponder the future... it's hard. It just is. My heart is with you. I'll talk with you soon!

Erin said...

I'm have been so relieved you got home, but am now sad you got lousy news. We always thought Charlotte would end up in a brace but it didn't happen. I am so sorry! ARG! Don't you just feel like you've been through enough?! I do. I don't know what to say except keep me posted. Love you!

Jo Jo said...

I'll call.

Shannon said...

I am so glad that you were able to get home! I am so sorry about the bad news. We will continue to keep Ben in our prayers. We have never even met him and have been so touched by him.