Sunday, June 27, 2010

A letter to my mom...

I went to Massachusetts this weekend with Kaleb and Stevie.  I wanted to visit with Ben.  It's been a few weeks and I am missing him so much.  Today I found this letter that I wrote to my mom back in March.  Only two short months before Ben passed away.
(you can click on the picture to make it bigger)
I forgot I had written this letter.  It was a little eerie reading it today.  Mostly because what I was feeling really did happen.  I know Heavenly Father was preparing me as best as he could.  I am grateful because I was able to have things in order when it finally did happen.  It's still so hard, and as prepared as I was, I really wasn't.  I miss him every second of every day...

11 comments:

LL said...

Wow Becky! What a sweet letter and so touching to read only a couple months later.
Amazing how things can change!
Love to you my friend~

The Kings said...

Heavenly Father was definitely preparing you but I doubt you can ever really be ready to say goodbye to someone that you love so much, and care for all the time.

Lots of love and prayers for you.
xxxx

Adoption of Jane said...

Blessings and Peace to you and your family.

Sim-Dim said...

Another tender mercy as HE tenderly prepared you for the next step in Ben's mission. xx

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

I don't think it matters HOW prepared we are for something like this, it is going to be so hard no matter what.

((hugs))

April said...

Even though Heavenly Father prepares our hearts- I don't think we are ever ready to say good bye- ever. I know it's tender...every day. I love you so very much!

KeriLyn and Matthew said...

Wow Becky. I know Heavenly Father knows his children individually....just another example to me that HE really does know us and loves us.....i am sure he was preparing you....not that it makes it easy....but perhaps a little more do-able....glad you got to go visit your family. And have a visit with little Ben.

shirlgirl said...

Wow! That is some letter to your Mom. I'll bet she cried when she read it, too. It is such a touching letter knowing what is going to happen and yet not really being 100% prepared. You gave him so much love and care and he loved you right back. You are awesome. Love you.

Curtis and Crystal Emery said...

Hi, you don't know me but I came across your blog from a post on someone's facebook and it has been truly amazing to follow your experiences and read about your little boy. He seemed like SUCH an amazing spirit. I had a little girl in Jan. 2010 who had Meconium Aspiration and after only 25 short (but long) days she was able to come home happy, healthy, and without any residual problems. As I read your blog I kept thinking about how blessed we were to have only dealt with PICC lines, NG tubes, her being intubated, and those days in the NICU for such a short time. I want to thank you for giving me perspective in my life and also for helping me feel even more blessed at the health of my baby girl. I know you will be with your Ben again and you will be so blessed because I can tell you are the best mother you ever could have been to him. That letter you wrote to your mom was incredible and I hope you can continue to heal and find peace. Thank you again for your posts and for sharing them with complete strangers.

Jo Jo said...

I bet she'd love for you to mail it now. I couldn't stop thinking about him either.

TMI Tara said...

The Lord does prepare His children, but only if they have pure faith and pure love. You were prepared because you are good.